Monday, July 11, 2005

Seeing Eye Monkeys

So me and Y-dawg went to Wal-Mart. He needed, I dunno, Depends or somethin', and I needed more sculpting gel. He don't seem to realize how much work illin' hair like mine is. Just 'cause he's got that weird comb-over thing going on don't mean he can take it out on me.

The guard at the door thought the green riddle monkey really was a monkey, so I says "Yo, he's my seeing eye monkey, G." And that worked. But then Y was all "Disrespect me you do," and Force-wedgied me. Not cool, homes. Not cool. But if anybody bothered to check to see if I really was blind, I woulda busted a cap. People are weak-minded, yo. I coulda taken the whole store by my own self. Maybe if I'd taken off my bling-hand and said he was my reaching monkey he wouldn't have been so hatin' on me.

Gotta go see Master Obs at the hiz-ospital later. Shoulda gotten cookies at Wal-Mart, but I was wedgied and couldn't be thinking straight. I'll just go down during snack time and steal some from the Younglings or somethin'. For now I'm gonna cruise in the illin' speeder JJ set me up with. That thing is pimpin' hardcore, yo. Lower city, here I come!


Blogger Leia said...

Smart thinking. I never thought of Yoda as a monkey. He reminds me more of a rhino for some reason.

12:26 PM  
Blogger Anakin Skywalker said...

Naw, girl, he's all monkey. Or somethin'. He don't have horns, so I don't think "rhino" when I see him, unless he's smackin me with that whack stick of his...

12:33 PM  
Blogger Master Yoda said...

Young Skywalker,

Evidently, learned your lesson you have not.

So taken away your cookie privileges I have.

6:01 PM  
Blogger Aayla Secura said...

Ooh..that's harsh.

6:34 PM  
Blogger Anakin Skywalker said...

That is WHACK, yo! What'm I supposed to bring Obs now? What'm I supposed to eat? You just be hatin' on me, as usual.

8:19 PM  
Blogger Barriss Offee said...

MORE sculpting gel? Anakin, there's hardly any room in the bathroom cabinet as it is!!!

9:45 PM  
Blogger Anakin Skywalker said...

Shuh, Barriss, I just got rid of the Kenobinator's deoderant to make room. Not like he uses it anyway, yo.

9:53 PM  
Blogger Leia said...

Give Obi a couple of younglings. I'm sure he'll like that.

9:54 PM  
Blogger Qui-Gon Jinn said...

Hey man,
I can, like, bring Benji some brownies, and we can like, say that you helped. You need to save your bread, though, for like Taco Bell runs, man.
And, like, do you remember that time that you lot thought it would be funny to freeze me in carbonite? I was lighting a joss stick and then the next thing I remember, I was blind and had Hibernation sickness. Yoda really was my seeing eye Jedi, though I never called him monkey (to his face).

10:13 PM  
Blogger Han Solo said...

Better than a seeing eye wookie. Trust me.

9:06 AM  

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