Thursday, August 04, 2005

Thanks, Aayla

So I guess ya'lls know about that whole "wanted for murder" thing now that Aayla hadta open her cake-hole. Just wanna set the record straight on this one. I didn't murder sandpeople, okay? Didn't slaughter, maim, mutilate, or dessicrate their population at all, yo. I just scared em a little, that's all, really. I mean, shuh. They killed my mom, yo! You'd think I'd be entitled to a little retribution or whatevs. All I did was some.... aggressive negotiations. S'not my fault they all got in the way of my lightsaber! If I really wanted to've busted a cap, I woulda killed all the sandpeople, not just one tribe. But... I didn't kill one tribe. Didn't kill any.

And Aayla, for ya 411, "Little Ani" was my slave name, yo. Now I'm A-dawg, Anakin, or Ani-from-the-block. Oh, or PimpMaster Skywalker. Whatevs.

So, in conclusion, ya'll... not a murderer. Just a... negotiator. Like Obi-Wan! Only... with blood on my boots instead of Cheeto stains on my robes.


Blogger Leia said...

That last sentence was touching. I didn't know you wrote poetry... you big softie you!

9:21 PM  
Blogger Anakin Skywalker said...

You tell anyone and I'll slaughter you like a Tusken Raider, yo.

Um, I mean... like sumthin that... isn't... a slaughtered Tusken Raider...

aw, spit.

9:24 PM  
Blogger Aayla Secura said...

Phew...well, thanks for clearing that up. For a second there, I thought you had momentarily gone dark-sided.

10:08 PM  
Blogger Aayla Secura said...

Another note--I don't eat cake. The icing tickles the roof of my mouth and it makes my tentacles all splotchy. It can also make them spin around really, really fast due to the sugar rush, and I don't feel comfortable flying outside of an aircraft.

Also, that stuff goes straight to the butt, you know.

10:21 PM  
Blogger jedisiri said...

hi PimpMaster Skywalker!or is it LimpMaster Skywalker?

1:43 AM  
Blogger Anakin Skywalker said...

Ow, my feelings, yo.


1:44 AM  
Blogger Mon Mothma said...

How horrifying for you, being accused of such a thing.

I admit that I don't generally understand every other word out of your mouth, but I simply can't imagine such a thing as you slaughtering a whole village.

And I'm very sorry to hear about you mother, dear. Would you like to come by my apartment and have some tea later? We could talk about it, if you like.

1:50 AM  
Blogger flu said...

I got the feeling you'll give a whole new meaning to the term "Jedi trials"

12:05 PM  
Blogger Oola said...

oh,god!not the cake!!*tentacles start spinning around and oola flies out of the window* *screams* bbyyyyyyeeeeeeeeee!!!!

2:52 AM  
Blogger General Grievous said...

I know what its like being wanted for a murder you didn't committ *cough*

12:19 AM  
Blogger Master Yoda said...

Young Skywalker,

Want to do this to you I did not, but no choice you left me.

Enrolled you in Windu's "Jedi Sensitivity" training course, I have.

Really, really sorry about this I am. But at this point, know what else I could do, I do not.

4:43 PM  
Blogger Shaak Ti said...

My lekku don't spin. I am glad they don't spin. It would whack me in the face.


5:08 PM  

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