So I got to go down in the lower city today to rescue little-homes JJ from the Pimp-Tastic Calrissian. I'm thinkin "yo, I'm the Chosen One, this won't be nothin;". But then I saw the power
that Calrissian guy has! He's got the honies, and the fly threads and all that shizzy. "Join me," he says. "And together we can rule the pimp market." I guess he knows mad skills when he sees 'em.
I had a tough decision to make, yo. Give in to the Pimp side of the Force, or perform my Force-given talent for chopping people's selves up. I had to sit me down and have a couple Colt 45s before I could decide, yo. Finally, I went with the second option. I mean, being a playa would be cool, but then I'd have to give up my illin' black cloaks an spit. I spent a lotta good money on my leather threads. Plus Calrissian was startin' to bug me.
The battle was kickin', yo! I was all "You're gonna pay for all the Jawas you pimped out today, fool!" and he was all "This wasn't part of the agreement!" (whatever that's supposed to mean). I used the Force to pull his illin' feather hat over his eyes and open the door for JJ to run out. Gotta say, that little dude looks creepy in fishnets and heels. That shizzy'll replace the Sand People in my nightmares, yo. There is not enough brownies and tequila in the universe
that'll erase that from my brain.
Finally, I was all "AAaaahhh!" 'cause I was gettin' pissed off an bored and spit, and fling(!) go Calrissian's hands. If he gets to a hospital in time, he'll be able to get 'em reattached, no problems. Finally, me an JJ hop in my kickin' speeder, and hightail it back to the upper city.
One thing about the lower city: it smells like cabbage, yo. What's up with that?