Sunday, January 29, 2006

Holovid to Padme

[begin recording]

Word up, fly girl. I been all thinkin bout you an spit since you ain't here an stuff. These skippin my arraignmizzle parties ain't the same without ya, babe.

You want me to throw down on those fools? You's the best interizzle decorator evah, girl. I mean, nobody but you can spend like a jillion hours findin just the right shoes to match the rug in the fresher or whatev, you get me? I'll totally bust a cap if I hear they're messin with ya. An stay away from those other guys - you're the Chosen One's, girl, an they best be steppin if they think they's gonna be gettin all up in my girl, you know?

One of the chillest things bout everybody bein there is I get ta choose my own missions an spit, an since I think we got our drink on so much there ain't no booze on Coruscant anymore, I'll go check out that bizounty hunter or whatev. Gotta keep ya safe, babe!

I'll ask Palp-doggy if he knows anythin bout Bizzle. He's a straight up guy, Palps is. Can't believe people are all up in his grill about that wire tappin shizzy. Shuh, you want a safe Republic or you want private holo comms? I mean, come on.

Anywayz, I watch the show all the time, but Windu sometimes puts a sock in my mouth (his, thank the Force... I'd totally be dead if it were Obs) cause I yell at the TV when they bein all mean ta you an spit.

Well, Windu's screechin at me to clean up.... I dunno, sumthin, so I gotta jet.

[end transmission]

Saturday, January 14, 2006

risky businizzle

Word up, ya'll. So here's the thing - Master Y, Obs, an, like everybody else cept for Windu who's all been up in my grill are on Naboo playin this big brizother thing or whatev, so I gots full runna the Temple. Nobody tellin me what to do or who not to sizlaughter or nuthin.

So I went an threw a "I ain't in jail yet, fools" party with all my dawgs. It was whack, yo! The Room of a Gabillion Fountains is, like, perfect for that sorta thing cause you can go swimmin and spit. An I totally owned at beer pong causa my mad Force skillz and whatnot.

This is so wizard. No Cheeto dust or nuthin (it's like sand - it gets everywhere, yo), no Force wedgies... Just Windu bein all Windu-y. We're havin another "Still ain't in jail yet" party tonight, and it's gonna be off the hizzy. Anyone still around who wantsta chill with the Chosen One is totally invited - we gots karoke an like an entire Corellia-sector's wortha booze, an the Die Hard trilogizzle. An hardwood floors we can slide across in our socks an spit.

This is the life!

Thursday, January 05, 2006

taken down by The Man

So check it. I'm chillin down in the Room of a Bizillion Fountains or whatev, and I see this new sign that sumbody musta put up. Like, Force-wedgie Zone or whatev. So I'm lookin at it, right? And I realize I gots this marker in my pocket from when I was colorin in the scratches on Windu's speeder so he wouldn't see what I did ta it, an I figure... hey, these fizossles need sumthin to laugh at so I totally jacked the sign bigtime.

I wanna post it here, but Yodes is all hatin on me an says it's all not Youngling friendly or whatev.

But, shuh, man - how was I s'posed ta know I was depantsing public property an spit? An even if I did know that, I dinnt know it were a felony. Now they're all sayin it was a hate crime. Well, ya know what? I'm not the hater! You all is the haters!

The Man's brought me down an now I got this whacked out court date or whatev and if I haveta go to prison, do I get conjugizzle visits with Pad... er... Senator Amidala?